Friday, 5 December 2008

The Nine Billion Modes Of Scavenger

Recently, I acquired a Transformer toy. Whilst such things are not an amazingly rare and life-shattering event, this was a Beast Machines toy, something neon orange and green, something with no face and skinny legs, something... sinister. Despite the startling resemblance to my sister, the purchase was still made.
And what a pretty boy Scavenger is, with his evil raisin-like head, and alt-mode of a...thingy. A thingy with a mouth though. So I threw it in the pile which consists amongst other things of an outer Skyhammer pretender shell which some unidentified assailant viciously mailed to me. But then I took him out, looked at him, and threw him back again. I did this a few times, before realising that he is truly More Than Meets The Eye - he has approximately nine billion modes, and when all are documented, the world will end, the purpose of mankind complete. So let's begin...

Robo-Chicken
Playing the Maximals at their own game, Scavenger has the awesome ability to transform into a 200 foot robotic chicken, raining down death on those below with his ovular devices of mass-destruction, as well as an annoying wake-up call to ensure the enemy is always tetchy.

Grabby Thing

What's worse than a Thing? Why, a Grabby Thing of course. Scavanger will grab you with his grabby arms, and stuff you in between his wheels! Scary!

Stilt Walkers / Oral Pleasure Device

Need a way for your Spychangers to get around since they don't actually have legs, per se? Well, look no further than this amazing stilt-walker, complete with control pad. But now I look at it, it seems like Daytonus is being orally pleasured. So it fulfils two purposes then! No wonder Scavenger is Megatron's favourite soldier...

Giraffe
What's more terrifying than a giraffe, I ask you. Not much.... apart from a neon orange giraffe with tank treads! Tremble as Scavenger eats all the leaves in the forest, leaving NONE for his foes, in his casually merciless manner.

Loch Ness Monster

Yes, the real Loch Ness Monster was Scavenger! The reason he was never caught was that because every time he was spotted he'd transform into his innocuous construction vehicle mode, the hordes of people running past him. Even in the eighteenth century. Yes.

Motorbike
Brrrrm brrrrm! Watch as Scavenger zooms into action, giving oral pleasure as well as bike rides (cries) 
Micromaster Base
As a Micromaster sits in the elevated chair, he can look at some floating wheels in this astounding base. Well, at least its got more play value than most Prime's base mode...

Barbeque
Yum, can you smell those burgers cooking? As well as a cooking grill, Scavenger boasts holding claws for grasping the meat, or even just a few bottles of Special Sauce

Camp, Tired Dinosaur
This camp and tired dinosaur is sure to strike fear into Scavenger's enemies, as they walk up to him expecting a sleepy enemy... and are instead EATEN ALIVE by his fiendishly large mouth, or chased after by his tiny little chicken legs

Skateboard
Move over Grindor, and all the other transforming Skateboards - Scavenger is going to get you, with his cool street-wise attitude! What other skateboard would have tank treads but Scavenger, as he races to the rescue... or to destroy the hated Maximals! In this mode, he also has a shiny bumper and a scoop on the back. Like all skateboards do.

That's ten modes. One more, and he'll be the Transformer with most transformations!

Uh... that's no more Scavenger for today then

2 comments:

  1. blueshift you totally copied ben yee and dave van domelen's alt.transfuck.yeah message board from 10 years ago, but yours is totally better!

    way better

    it almost makes me not hate transformers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Scavenger! Nooooooo!

    ReplyDelete