Saturday, 30 May 2015

Game of Thrones Meal: Stannis Feast

The best character in Game of Thrones is Stannis, the rightful king of Westeros. In celebration of his majesty I decided to cook a meal of his favourite food so that I could take one step closer to perfection.

Stannis' best friend is Ser Davos Seaworth, who saved him during the siege of Storm's End when he brought Stannis a delicious meal of onions and salt fish. Stannis had previously been eating rats and boot leather, which was no good for a kingly man such as he. When he saw Davos' onions, his heart leapt with joy and he gave Davos two thumbs up.

Or one thumb up.

In an attempt to cook Stannis' favourite meal, I found the best onions I could. I wasn't sure what salt fish was, so I bought a tin of mackerel and put some salt on it; hopefully this will accurately simulate salt fish. The lying television show claims that Davos also brought potatoes, but Westeros America hasn't yet been discovered so this is a clear falsehood.
Stannis is a man of taste and refinement, so I prepared a serving of onions two ways - half the onion was fried and half was cooked raw. It was then carefully displayed around the edge of the plate, with a centrepiece of fish. I imagine Stannis tucks into this food every night. with great gusto.

Stannis is noted for his steely disposition, and this is proved by the fact that it's really hard to eat raw onion. The fried onion was fine, the fish was okay, but the raw onion nearly killed me. However, unlike Stannis, I am not the Prince That Was Promised, and so my mortal tastebuds were clearly unprepared for such a divine meal.  I had to eat it all despite the agonising bitter burning, as I knew it is what Stannis would have wanted.

Having eaten this meal, I have now gained a greater understanding and appreciation for King Stannis, may his reign be long and fruitful (onionful?).

No comments:

Post a Comment